January 11, 2015
Dearest Laura,
Three is a magical number. And soon you will mother of three daughters! We are so proud of you. We know your girls will be as extraordinary as the three graces, daughters of Zeus, who were believed to personify and bestow charm, grace, and beauty. So to help you manage your three charming, graceful beauties your friends and family have condensed 191 years of parenting experience into a list of always and never items. When in doubt consult the list. Caffeine and chocolate also help. Avoid excessive alcohol.
We love you. Your sister Jaqueline
@@@@@ ALWAYS @@@@@
- Always teach the word no.
- Always expect great things from your children.
- Always remember that your children will inspire you.
- Always end the day like this. I call it “doing the days.” I ask my son: 1 — Best part/ thing that happened that day. 2 — Worst or least favorite thing that day. 3 — Funniest thing of the day. I’m always shocked by the things that I learn about my son. It also gives us an opportunity to be silly and laugh.
- Always keep a journal and write down all of the clever things your kids say.
- Always read aloud books like the Hobbit or Narnia or Harry Potter, even to your preschooler. Believe it or not, they will understand these complex stories and love them.
- Always remember that children thrive on consistency and knowing what to expect next.
- Always make Church a central part of the family.
- Always do family dinners as much as possible.
- Always love them unconditionally and support them even when they f-ck up.
- Always keep a journal in the kitchen. Whenever something notable would happen fill it with funny quotes, notable memories, or activities, and just jot down the date and a thought. I love looking through it and remembering little things. (A friend of mine did this too by setting up an email address for her child and emailing pics from her phone etc.)
- Always be an example to them but let them know your flaws.
- Always expect they can achieve more than THEY think they can achieve.
- Always forgive them when they wound you. They will understand when they have their own kids and be grateful you were so gracious.
- Always try consensus building. All four of us vote equally for everything. If your vote lost, maybe next time.
- Always remember this when potty training and you can’t get them to go… Put the potty in the bath tub and begin running warm water.
@@@@@ NEVER @@@@@
- Never forget to sleep! It’s tempting to try to steal time for myself late night when the kids are asleep but I am a much better mom when I’ve made the mature decision to go to bed early. Making sure we get enough sleep is a must.
- Never be too hard on yourself. I am too often critical of myself and then am sorry when I see my child repeating this same behavior.
- Never listen blindly to other parents. Listen to your instincts instead. One time my friend said we could leave our 3-year-olds alone to play. When we went back (too long later) to check on them they were safe but what a disaster. I realized too late that we should have been checking on them more often!!
- Never sign up for hockey or soccer unless you enjoy 7am practice sessions
- Never let the older children feel that the baby is getting too much attention.
- Never forget that children know more about their parents than the parents know about them. Never succumb to unhealthy snacks. Never accept a babysitting job for your teenager without asking them.
- Never let your automobile insurance be expired when you bring your child to DMV to take the driving test.
- Never ever adopt the Brearley snake.
- And never ever ever let your two-year-old taste coke. Brewster tasted coke at two years old. Carter did it.
